Land　is　our　ship--那年夏天

Land is our ship

[ 2008-3-5 22:02:00 | By: 夏然 ]

终于也到了第2个本命年，而且明显感觉到周围的气场开始有所变化，今年过年的时候七姑八大姨们开始试图隐晦的说：“本命年了啊，个人问题也该考虑了吧。”=____,= 俺很想回答，俺个人没问题……然后在XQ上看到“妈妈砸凳子”系列贴，很有喜感……让人充分体会到此大千世界，各色JP无所不有啊。其实相亲这回子事，绝对不怎么靠谱，像我这种就是从小被训练成一见外人就会立刻条件反射装无辜善良状，于是得到的评价一般都是“文静”“内向”“不爱说话”，你才内向呢，你们全家都内向！嘁。

貌似这个年纪的人都在迷茫，刚刚开始工作，似乎安定却并没有心理安定下来，不知道以后的路会往哪里走。

我当初找工作的时候就是鬼迷心窍一心想来上海不想去深圳，其实当时的想法也只是因为上海对我来说是一个离家近又很方便的城市，虽然我一点也不觉得在国外呆了这么多年留下了啥印记，但是却有很多习惯的东西，可惜只有上海或者别的大城市才找的到。但是也发现在这里生活确实心有点累，上个街无论什么时候都满是人，又挤又吵，没过多久就开始烦而且很容易累。竞争激烈，节奏飞快，如果说几年前我还是那个野心勃勃奋发进取的好少年，如今我只是一个胸无大志向往懒散悠闲生活的干物女而已——圣母啊，人就是这样长大的咩？咩？？！

这一周看的电影是《海上钢琴师》，非常棒。那个出生在船上，生长在船上，一生未踏上陆地的人，思想如同海洋一样自由，和孩子一样善变，又像老人一样固执。有人说，他是为了他的艺术不受世俗束缚，才这么选择。可是他只是守着他所熟悉的世界，因为我们的世界让他无所适从。

他只忠于自己。他在摇晃的船上弹着滚动的钢琴滑过大厅，他总是在舞会的中途即兴弹起自己的曲子，他的曲子总是能吸引很多人，从头等舱的贵宾，到三等舱的流浪汉。他总是在最接近海平面的船舱里看着起伏的海面，然后开始想象海那边的陆地又盖起了什么样的房子，飞过了什么样的鸟群。他看着你，跟你说他脑中的世界，这个时候他就像他的音乐那么遥远。我从来没有存在过，他这么说。是的，他从来没有存在过。我不能想象一个真实的人可以是他这个样子。他甚至不孤独，来来往往，看着一批又一批的人带着满心的希望和梦想去往美国，又看着一批又一批的人回到欧洲，他仍然呆在他的船上。

唯一的那一次，为了那个姑娘的一次见面，他也曾下定决心登上陆地。可是我们只能想象到这里，那个看着姑娘的侧脸就顺手弹出让人落泪的人，那个站在雨中看着唱片看着姑娘的人，那个本身就如同童话中的存在一样的人，我不知道如何把他放进一个房屋里，放进一个在小店讨价还价或者在厨房为了一顿晚餐而忙碌的画面里。

他看着面前蔓延的看不到尽头的道路，终于把帽子抛出，转身回到了他的船上。

他说：不是我看见的那些阻挡了我，而是那些我看不见的。
他说，整个城市，你就是看不到终点，我就是看不见所有的事物所会到达的终点。
他说，你看见那些街道了么，上千条街道！你要如何才能从中选择出你的那一条？如何选择出你的那个女人？那个房子？那片属于你的土地？那条属于你的，通往尽头的道路。

就像他说的那样，钢琴只有88个琴键，用这些就可以弹出数不清的音乐。当琴键变成无数个的时候，再天才的钢琴家也会不知道该如果演奏。

最后，他说：
Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful; it's a voyage too long, a perfume too strong. It's a music I don't know how to make.

说实话，现在的生活，这个城市，有时给我的就是这样的感觉。我想我长大的那个小城市，只有那几个地方可以逛街，只需要搭一班公车就可以到达，永远不用像花花房东的家的小baby面临双手也抓不满的糖豆不知道该怎么办。

但是我们注定会适应，因为我们已经选择来到了陆地上。

备份：

All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends? It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed.

There was no problem.

It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. The end of the world...

Take a piano.
The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are eighty-eight of them, nobody can tell you any different.
They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on these keys the music that you can make is infinite.
I like that. That I can live by. You get me up on that gangway and you're rolling out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that's the truth, Max. That they never end. That keyboard is infinite. And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench. That's God's piano.

Christ! Did, did you see the streets? Just the streets?There were thousands of them! And how do you do it down there? How do you choose justone?one woman,one house,one piece of land to call your own,one landscape to look at,one way to die...

All that world is weighing down on me, you don't even know where it comes to an end, and aren't you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? The enormity of living it?

I was born on this ship, and the world passed me by, but two thousand people at a time. And there were wishes here, but never more than fit between prow and stern. You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite. I learned to live that way.

Land? Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful; it's a voyage too long, a perfume too strong. It's a music I don't know how to make. I could never get off this ship. At best, I can step off my life. After all, I don't exist for anyone.